Rate each thesis statement on scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest, according to the criteria for an effective thesis statement. Place your ratings in the comments section below, "ex. A) 4," and include your justification for each rating.
A) In the article 'is the egg worth $50,000?" its not the egg donation that comes into question, but what some women are being paid for their fertile eggs.
B) In the article, Is This Egg Worth $50, 000, the author discusses the moral and ethical issues that arise when women sell their eggs under the guise of helping create a family, so called "perfect babies" are being created, and how other baby brokers are put out of business by women like Pinkerton, who help to sell them.
C) When the economic stress of worrying about money has casts its shadow upon you, there is an alternative to working for seven dollars and fifty cents an hour to try and put yourself through school or enhance your financial position in life, while at the same time you can provide an opportunity for an unfortunate childless family to have a miracle come true by donating eggs.
D) In the article "Is This Egg Worth $50,000" written by Sheila Wella, the author discusses the topic of egg donation. Although egg donation arises many issues, it has become more and more popularized over the years, and for some women it has become even just another source of income."
E) Despite being able to make alot of money, woman who are egg donor's are usually young ladies and are still attending school.
F) Not being able to give yourself the gift of being pregnant, people paying up to 50,000 dollars for young, smart, attractive women to give away their eggs is a little to ridiculous for me to understand. I can see how couples who are desperate and would be willing to pay money for a good gene, especially when the egg is coming from an Ivy League college student. This agency in Alabama really has to analyze the applicants to make sure that it is what the couple is looking for. Couples who are willing to pay in the tens of thousands of dollars really must want their child to come from a good gene. All of the paperwork and the questionnaires that the donors must fill out all the tests that they have to go through to make sure that they are what the couple wants I can see where the couples would offer so much money to get a good donor. And the agencies are targeting a good market when they advertise at Ivy League colleges throughout the United States, and female students looking for a way to pay for college especially an ivy league school, what better way to make tens of thousands of dollars than to sell your seed.
G) Even though there are controversies and other complications that may accompany this type of procedure, it is very rewarding and beneficial to all parties involved.
H) Sheila Weller did a good job describing the new heights egg donation is beginning to reach with the help of the Pinkerton's business, however could explain furter the problems that evolve from donating one's eggs.
I) Many people are unaware of the positive opportunities and possibilities presented to infertile couples and donors by human egg-donation.
J) People who egg donate how does it work, why are you getting paid, and how do others react to this.
K) Women, how would you like to make 50000 dollars for a donation? All you have to do is sell your eggs; egg donation can make you the big bucks if you have the right goods.
L) In the article, “Is this egg worth $50,000” the author discusses a secret business in egg donations where well educated females sell their eggs for ridiculous prices reaching $50,000.
M) This article was very good because it was interesting, very informative, and primarily un bias.
N) In the SELF, women's magazine article, "Is this egg worth $50,000?" by Sheila Weller, readers are insiders on the topic of women and "selling" off their potential life creating eggs. Focused on matching donors to receivers with specific genetic puzzle pieces, comes as more than just the title of, "Egg Donor" to the smart, beautiful, and sensitive.
O) In this article “Is this egg worth $50,000?” by Sheila Weller she discusses the controversial method of pregnancy by egg donation and the exurbanite prices paid for the eggs.
P) Weller’s well rounded approach to egg donations is one supported by experienced credible sources, and is presented with strong articulation of the ethos, pathos, and logos of the women who subjected themselves to this controversial yet lucrative dream.
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ReplyDeleteA)1- Attempts to summarize content, not how it's written. Too short.
ReplyDeleteB)3- Informs how the article was written and what your about to read. It's only one sentence really, and it's long.
C)1- Not a thesis statement, a persuasion to read the article?
D)2- Good refrencing of name and author of article but doesn't talk about HOW article is written.
E)1- No reference to article/author. One sentence. Sentence does not make sense.
F)1-Long, does not reference article/author,opinon in thesis,does not critique how article is written.
G)1- No reference to article or author, does not critique how article is written, only content.
H)2- Stated author did a "good job", but could elaborate more on this. Also tells us what the author could have done better but didn't really inform us on what we were reading.
I)1- Did not reference article/author. Summarized content not how it was written.
J)1- Did not reference article/author, too short, grammar, is this a question? Did not critque how article was written by author or explain content.
K)1- Attempt to persuade induviduals to read article? Article nor author referenced, too short.
L)1- References article and author, informs us on what were about to read but does not critique on how author wrote article. (ex. credible, not credible)
M)1- Opinion, too short, does not reference article or author, does not critique how article is written.
N)2- References author/article, explains what article is about but does not critque HOW article was written by author.
O)1- Tells what article is about not HOW it was written.
P)4- References author, explains article was written with "well rounded approach", "ethos, patos, logos", informs what topic is.
a. 1 not enought to go on
ReplyDeleteb. 1 too wordy
c. 1 sounds like an ad
d. 1 one sentence only
e. 1 not enough info
f. 1 tooo long
g. 1 what is it about?
h. 3/4 tells what it will be about
i. 1 what are we dicussing?
j. 4 main parts are listed on what to be discussed
k. 1 sounds like an ad
l. 1 makes personal... cant be
m. 2 never mentions what article is about
n. 1 too many sentences
o. 2 gives ideas about what it will be about
p. 4 talks about what will be discussed
A. 3, not clear & concise
ReplyDeleteB. 4, not clear
C. 3, tell us something we don't know
D. 2, more than one sentence
E. 2, not clear & concise
F. 3, more than one sentence
G. 2, not clear
H. 4, "so what"
I. 3, "so what"
J. 1, not clear
K. 2, not clear, more than one sentence
L. 3, tell us something we don't know
M. 2, "so what"
N. 3, not clear, more than one sentence
O. 5, clear, concise
P. 5, clear, concise
A-2: pretty vague and summarizing the article.
ReplyDeleteB-3: summarizing of the article.
C-5: Grabbed my attention, something new and true.
D-4: Take out the first sentence and its very concise and to the point.
E-2: Doesn't grab the reader.
F-2: Very informative but way too long.
G-2: Not too concise or new.
H-2: Summarizing the article.
I-4: Makes you wonder what the opportunities and possibilities.
J-1: All questions about the egg donation process.
K-3: Grabs your attention in a humerous way and wants to make you keep reading.
L-2: Summarized the article.
M-1: Opinion.
N-3: More concise and one sentence. Summarized article.
O-2: Already telling us something that we know; summarizing the article.
P-4: Very concise and to the point of the article. Not sure if the audience will know what ethos, pathos, and logos are.
A. 2 - Statement - "So What"
ReplyDeleteB. 2 - more like a summary
C. 3 - starts of good then goes in 2 directions
D. 3 - Good but too much like an intro
E. 3 - "So What"
F. 1 - Response
G. 2 - Opinion
H. 4 - Good Direction
I. 2.5 - more like an intro
J. 2 - Is that a summary?
K. 3 - 2 sentences / similar to an intro
L. 2 - Summary
M. 4 - God direction
N. 1 - Summary
O. 1 - Summary
P. 4.5 - good
A-1-nothing new
ReplyDeleteB-2 nothing new, but better
C-3 already know
D-2 too long
E-1-nothing new
F-2-too long
G-2 so what?
H-1 summary
I-4 short and to the point
J-1 nothing new
K-1 nothing new
L-1 summary
M-1 what was it about?
N-2 not 1 sentence
O-1 summary
P-4 clear, concise, nice
A)2 - not enough effort
ReplyDeleteB)4 - good start got my attention
C)2 - doesnt really cover the topic
D)4 - very nice start
E)2 - doesnt touch on the topic in detail
F)3 - maybe a little too much for a response thesis
G)2 - doesnt touch on the topic what-so-ever
H)4 - very nice,
I)3 - could use a little more detail
J)2 - needs more detail about the article given
K)4 - nice use of words
L)3 - simple and to the point
M)1 - needs more EVERYTHING!!
N)4 - very nice
O)3 - maybe go into more detail about the article
P)3 - good but could use more detail
A.5 Really good
ReplyDeleteB.5 Really good
C.3 Introduce Weller's points
D.3 Needs to be 1 sentance
E.2 Introduce author and/or article
F.3 Needs to be 1 sentance
G.2 Introduce author and/or article
H.4 Introduce article title
I.3 Introduce author and/or article
J.2 Organize ideas more & intro. author/article
K.3 Funny but needs to be 1 sentance
L.5 Really Good
M.2 Introduce author/title show authors pts.
N.4 Needs to be 1 sentance
O.5 Really Good
P.5 Really Good
A 5- Discusses what will be said and raises a good question.
ReplyDeleteB 3- Doesn't state an argument
C 4- Seems more like an introduction
D 5- Seems good to me
E 2- To vague
F 3- Long, more like a summary
G 3- To vague
H 5- Good
I 4- Stating the author and article with help
J 1- Not enough info
K 2- Seems like an advertisement
L 2- No argument, just a summary
M 1- This was an opinion
N 5- I like it
O 2- No argument, just a summary
P 4- Good, but I dont know your argument or have any new questions.
a.5- this makes me want to know more!
ReplyDeleteb.3- choppy and seems like a run on
c.4- good but wordy
d.3- more than one sentence
e.1- what is the article? not enough information
f.2- where is the thesis
g.2- what procedure? Who are the parties?
h.3- who are the pinkerton's
i.4- like what?
j.1- isnt that what the paper was about?
k.2- doesn't give a thesis of the article...but good for marketing
l.4- good informative and intriguing
m.3- what article? what is the topic?
n.4- alittle confusing with the second sentence added
0.3- alittle vague
p.4- wouldn't have included terms some may not know
A) 3 because it states the problem and the stance but doesn't state where the article is coming from.
ReplyDeleteB)4 because it says what the article was and states good points but doesn't have a stance
C)4 because it doesn't tell you what their stance on the issue is.
D)4 because it tells what the article is who wrote it and what it was about but has no personal stance.
E)1 bias, doesn't state what the issue is, where the issue is coming from.
F)2 More of a summary, very long, doesn't state where info is from
G)1 You don't know what the subject is or their opinion of it.
H)4 doesn't say what her articl was or where its from
I)3 not very attention grasping, doesn;t state opinion
J)1 its all questions, not saying problem, not stating opinion
K)2 doesn't state opionon on issue or what about the donation he will be discussing
L)3 doesn't give credit
M)2 doesn't state what the topic is or give credit to writer of article
N)4 doesn't fully state opinon
O)4 doesn't state opionon
P)4 doesn't give all credit to author of article
a-1.5 talks vague about the topic but does not go farther.
ReplyDeleteb-3 descriptive
c-4 new, true, important
d-4
e-1
f-1
g-1 does not identify procedure
h-3 not necessarily important
i-4 short, concise, vague but captures your attention
j-1 its a question
k-4 good attention getter, but more then one sentence
l-3well said but seems to limit to only "educated" females-limits audience
m-1 does not give a thesis
n-3
o-3
p-5 well written
A)3 more info.
ReplyDeleteB)4 Put together well.
C)4 Not bad. couldve been better stated.
D)4 Strong points.
E)3 Needs more previews.
F)3 Too long.
G)3 More info.
H)4 Good info.
I)3 Explain more.
J)4 Need more.
K)4 Good points.
L)4 Good points.
M)3 Too short, doesnt describe.
N)4 Too much info.
O)3 Telling too much.
P)4 Good points.
a) 2. Made me curious from an ethical standpoint
ReplyDeleteb) 1. Very chopped up and confusing wordage
c) 2. Takes too long getting to the main point
d) 2. Lacks appeal and interest
e) 1. Not sure what the author is trying to convey ??
f) 1. What? ... also, it's a summary and it's far too long
g) 1. Doesn't state a topic
h) 3. Decent concise statement
i) 1. Boring, doesn't grab my attention
j) 1. I don't have the words... I mean what is this even saying
k) 1. Not supposed to be a question
l) 3. Sounds interesting
m) 1. Tells me nothing of valuable, so what?
n) 1. What? I can't follow the thought here
o) 1. So what?
p) 2. A little "wordy" but gets a point across